Wherever You Will Go
by canyousmellchips
Summary: "Laura's eyes must be betraying her. She can't be real. She can't be here. Not after all these years. But she is. Here." Carmilla and Laura meet again a decade after their messy breakup.


**H** er bedroom is a mess right now.

With clothes scattered all around. On the floor, on her bed, on her desk.

And with the clock ticking. Reminding her she's already late.

The dress LaFontaine bought for her birthday months ago is still hanging inside the wardrobe. She couldn't even bring herself to look at it.

LaFontaine said she needed to dress appropriately for her age if she wanted to get any. Start acting more like the young beautiful woman that she is. But all Laura can think about is how much skin she would show with that little red dress.

The Laura from years ago would have loved to wear it and wouldn't even mind or notice the eyes staring at her strong legs. But the Laura from tonight is used to wearing her business suits for work.

She looks at the clock again and sighs in defeat. In probably less than twenty minutes Perry and LaFontaine will be here to get her. And she still needs to do her makeup.

Already regretting her choices she gets the dress off of the wardrobe. She dresses quickly and tries her best to brush her hair decently enough in quick movements.

As soon as she finishes the car honks from outside. They are always impatient like this.

The concert has already started once they reach the place, crowded with too many people.

LaFontaine opens up a trail for them to get to the bar, while Perry and Laura try to awkwardly mingle around. When LaFontaine comes back with their arms full of beers all three of them sigh with relief.

The alcohol helps. And soon enough Laura can feel herself relaxing.

The music is some indie rock that she has never heard of before. She wonders if all these people around her actually know the band. Or maybe they are just here like her, trying to find something to make them feel alive after a long week of work.

On the first row she can see the avid fans. Screaming and crying for the young singer with long dirty hair on the stage. But close to Laura people are just moving with the beat.

Calmly.

None of them try to sing along with the melody so she imagines they are unfamiliar to the sound too.

After the few first songs she starts to enjoy the concert, not knowing any of the lyrics. And still, there is something familiar of the beat. It sounds like the kind of shows she used to watch when they were all younger and went to all kinds of cheap concerts they could afford.

Laura used to love that. She used to love dancing in the middle of the crowd and to lose herself in the music. Around all the strangers she would never have to see again.

Does this mean she is getting old? That she can now only half enjoy the night and keeping count on how many hours are left till she can go back to her bed?

Looking to her left she sees that Perry looks uncomfortable beside her. Tugging at her beer like her life depends on it. She never liked to be around so many people. Indie rock songs are not exactly her style. But soon LaFontaine hugs her and Perry seems to smile contently.

The consequence of LaFontaine and Perry cuddling together is that now Laura is more distant from them. And the eyes of the guys around her are hyper aware of Laura's body. She knows she is looking good in her new dress tonight. But she hates it when men think they can hit on her just because of that.

"You like girls? Me too." She says, annoyed.

It's not the first time she needs to yell at strangers that she is gay. And she is sure it's far from being the last.

Close to the end of the night Laura excuses herself to the bathroom. Her friends ask if she needs company but she refuses. She wants to give them some space to be a couple without having to worry about leaving her alone.

The mirror of the place is so small she can barely manage to see much more than her face. She doesn't try to spend too much time working on her makeup. All the young girls around are giving her rude stares. Like she's been occupying the mirror for hours instead of just an actual few minutes.

Tugging her dress the lowest she can to not show more than what she wants, Laura goes back outside.

The place is even darker now. A slow song is playing. Laura is not sure if she is going to find her friends. Not an easy task with so many people around and with only the light of cell phones illuminating the night.

She gets caught by the moment.

It's the best song of the night. The melody seems to penetrate into every pore of her body.

She spends a few seconds paying attention to the scene in front of her. To all the people singing together with the song blasting from the speakers.

It's beautiful. And moving. The beat is so loud she can feel it reverberating through her whole body. It makes her feel like everything is possible. Like her life is really going to change tonight. That amazing out of your body experience you can only feel in the middle of a good concert.

Then she turns around.

And curses at every entity in the world she can remember the name of.

Because this can't be happening. Laura's eyes must be betraying her.

She can't be real. She can't be here. Not after all these years.

But she is. Here.

With the same long dark hair around her beautiful pale face. With the same red lipstick that she always used to love. All dressed in black leather and combat boots.

Carmilla. Looking at Laura with wide eyes that must be reflecting her own stare.

Like something out of a dream. Or a nightmare. Bringing back memories from so long ago.

Laura tries to stop her heart from attempting to break out of her chest. She can't be feeling like this. They haven't seen each other in years. Almost a decade.

Laura armored herself for years and years.

Trying to forget. Trying to be whole on her own.

But it was always like this with them. Unexpected and illogical. How Laura could just fall back into Carmilla's arms every damn time. Like her whole body just knew she belonged to the dark-haired woman.

"Hey." Carmilla says in the middle of the crowd. And Laura doesn't know how she manages to hear Carmilla's voice. Even with all the sound blasting around them.

"Hey." She answers back.

* * *

 **I** t's her first week at Silas University.

So it's still completely normal for her to end up getting lost in the middle of the campus. Not really something to be ashamed of.

Laura should probably call her roommate or one of her new friends to ask for help. But she was so sure she could do it.

The building she is close to is familiar. Laura guesses she is getting closer now.

But after walking around for a few minutes she realizes she is probably taking the wrong turn.

Again.

And as soon as she starts typing on her phone she bumps into someone. Falling fast to the floor and her elbow's hurting; probably due to a new scratch. She is used to it.

When she looks up to the hand trying to help her Laura freezes.

In front of her is the most beautiful girl she had ever seen in her life.

"Hey, cutie. Did no one ever tell you to not text while you walk?

Everyone always makes fun of them. How they literally fell into each other arms like that. Like it was destiny. A scene out of a fairytale.

Tightly wounded little Laura Hollis bumping into the mysterious and lonely Carmilla Karnstein.

The kind of meeting that only happens in movies.

The most unlikely people to fall in love.

But they do.

Between awkward meetings in halls and late night conversations about literally anything that Laura could ramble on for hours.

Something slowly starts to grow inside their hearts.

Maybe it's the way Laura lights up everything for Carmilla. Or how Carmilla will just do anything for Laura. And only for Laura.

They complete one another in the most unexpected ways.

After they decide to stop hiding from these feelings things just happen fast.

It's like their hands belong to each other's. Their bodies always looking for the other. Their kisses bringing them closer to their personal heaven.

They go on small road trips together.

Carmilla shows Laura all the constellations in the sky. In return, Laura will tell Carmilla about her dreams of becoming a famous journalist. They share their dreams in whispers into each other's ears. Between glasses of champagne that Carmilla stole somewhere.

They make love on the back seat of Laura's old car. In odd angles, with their backs hurting and legs bumping. Giggles escaping from Laura at every five seconds. And Carmilla trying to shush Laura with her hands.

In this moment they know there is no way that this could be more perfect.

Carmilla's heartbeat under Laura's fingers is the most overwhelming feeling in the world.

With the months passing they find ways to see each other between classes.

Carmilla dances with her in the small space between the beds in Laura's room. With Laura's socks making her slip all the time and almost falling. The girl just has a way to get close to the floor.

On Valentine's Day they break into the library late at night. Hiding behind the thousands year old books, they try to keep it quiet. Laura isn't good at that but she still tries her best.

In a corner, Carmilla prepares the place with candles and blankets. The soft light on Carmilla's face makes Laura's heart skip a beat.

In moments like this Laura wonders if being so in love could be real. If everyone feels like the whole world is right when they are around the person they love.

She wonders if Carmilla is her soulmate.

Laura never even thought she believed in such cheesy stuff. Even with all the books she's read in her teenager years, she was mostly skeptical about it.

But Carmilla changed her.

And she changed Carmilla.

The problem is that the world didn't change together with them.

By the end of Laura's first year in Silas the world comes crushing down on them.

Carmilla's mom wants to move the whole family to the United States. Something about her corporation closing a big branch-opening deal. And of course that involves Carmilla in some way. Her mom wants her to be the heir of the company.

Not that her opinion matters on that. Or what her two siblings think of it.

Endless discussions happen between Laura and Carmilla because of that.

Laura wants Carmilla to face her mother. To just say fuck off to her mother and to live her own life. But in saying that, she isn't considering how Carmilla wants to deal with her mother and how she is feeling. She doesn't really let Carmilla have a voice in what she wants to do. That it isCarmilla who needs to decide when and how she wants to face her mother, or whether or not she wants to face her mother at all.

The fact that Carmilla is even considering living a whole ocean away from Laura makes the girl angry. Because Carmilla is leaving her. And they didn't know when or how they will ever see each other again.

"You can't expect me to just throw everything away. To ignore my family, my life and my career out of the window just because I love you."

This isn't what Laura is asking. It isn't. And she knows looking at Carmilla's face that her girlfriend doesn't understand that. Or maybe Laura just doesn't know how to use the right words. Because she will regret for years about the words she is going to say.

"If you loved me you'd stay."

Wrong words. Wrong choices. Naïve minds.

As soon as Carmilla leaves the room Laura falls to the floor, drowning in her tears.

Later Perry and LaFontaine find her and try to cheer her up. They hug her for hours and bring blankets and all her favorite cookies and movies to marathon. But nothing will ever fix the hole in her heart.

Carmilla wrote her a letter before she got on the plane.

It's short and simple. Telling Laura she is sorry. That she will find a way. That she will keep in contact. That maybe they can fix the mess they made.

But Laura, still angry and heartbroken, texts her back. Saying "no". If she is going away then she shouldn't look back.

And Carmilla didn't.

Both of them move on with their lives. Pretending there isn't a huge gap in the place where they hearts used to be.

* * *

 **L** aura can't believe this is happening.

How did Carmilla and her manage to bump into each other like this. After so long. At a trashy concert.

Why is Carmilla even here anyway?

Isn't she supposed to be on the other side of the ocean? Living her rich corporate life?

"You look great." Carmilla says.

The two of them try to make small talk. But it's weird. Probably because Laura is trying not to feel vaguely excited about seeing her ex.

It shouldn't be like this. She shouldn't be feeling like this.

But she misses Carmilla. She misses Carmilla so much.

Trying to forget the person who your heart belongs to; it's not an easy thing to do.

And Carmilla looks nervous too. Playing with her hair and biting her lips.

She smiles sometimes. Looking shy. And looking still so young.

"It was good to see you again." Carmilla says before they part ways.

"Yes, it was." Laura manages to say

Soon she loses Carmilla in the middle of the crowd.

The concert comes to an end and Laura still can't find LaFontaine and Perry.

There are too many people around her. All of them moving in the direction of the exit doors. She tries to call their phones but none of them answer. The noise in the place is probably blocking every sound.

Once she heads outside the sky falls down. It starts raining like the end of the world.

Everyone tries to run back to their cars, trying to escape from the water. But it's everywhere.

It takes twenty seconds standing outside for Laura to feel her whole body soaked with rain.

She feels a buzz in her hand and reads a new message.

Perry: we are at the car! Where are you, dear?

Great. This could not get any worse.

But then she looks around and realizes she has no idea where the hell they had parked.

This night is just a mess.

Two minutes later a motorbike stops right in front of her.

And a familiar face looks at Laura behind the dark sunglasses.

They smile sadly at each other.

"Where do you live?" It's all Carmilla says.

Laura jumps on behind her. Feeling her stomach sinking as soon as she hugs Carmilla's waist.

To hell with LaFontaine and Perry. They are probably warm enough in their own car.

When they reach Laura's building she insists that Carmilla needs to go inside. Just for a minutes anyway, to wait for the rain to get lighter.

They are both a mess of wet clothes.

Laura tries to tell herself that she is just worried about Carmilla getting a cold.

It's not at all about getting to spend a few more minutes with the woman.

She lends a towel to Carmilla as she tries to dry her own body.

Laura can't help the shiver that goes down her back when she looks at Carmilla. The way she slowly takes her dripping black shirt off sends a sting down Laura's stomach.

Carmilla's pale back bring back old memories. And it doesn't help that the woman is now only wearing a black bra and leather pants that are so familiar to Laura. This is too much for her brain.

She doesn't realize that she's been staring for so long until Carmilla turns to her. And honest to God smirks.

Just like old times.

And then suddenly they are all over each other.

Mouth on mouth. Chest to chest. Bumping around Laura's apartment. Reaching her bed and falling on the top of her duvets.

And again, this is all so familiar. Even though their bodies are slightly different after so many years.

Laura can still recognize the small mole between Carmilla's breasts. The way she moans when Laura bites into her shoulder. All the small touches that make Carmilla lose her mind.

Just as Carmilla still knows how to make Laura go over the edge in just a few minutes.

Further into the night they lay down together. Facing each other. Smiling lazily.

And it's peaceful.

The sound of the raindrops hitting the window of Laura's bedroom.

Laura wants to mark in her memory of every new freckle on Carmilla's body. So that she can still remember this moment for the rest of her life.

If this night is all she will have with Carmilla then she will make it count.

"Why are you here?" Laura finally asks.

And the answer surprises her.

"I fired myself."

Carmilla tells her the entire story. About the fights with her mom. And moving back to Austria with the help of her older sister.

She tells about how trapped and stressed she was feeling working with her mom. How North America was nothing like home. And she couldn't find herself fitting in there.

"But I still tried. For years and years." The look in her eyes is distant and empty. "I used to think that someday I'd wake up and things would be different. That it would feel right…"

Laura didn't need her to continue. She understood that it never did.

And now Carmilla is here.

Naked in Laura's bed.

There is a sense of pride inside of Laura's chest. Carmilla finally detached herself from her annoying mother.

Of course Laura probably had a very small influence on it all. But it still makes her happy. For Carmilla. Because now she was finally free to do whatever she wants with her life.

Laura can feel her eyes getting heavy. She is almost letting her head fall back onto the pillow when Carmilla decides to speak again.

"Do you regret? Ever loving me?" The question comes out of Carmilla's mouth unexpectedly.

And Laura feels her heart breaking a little bit more.

How could she ever ask this question to Laura? How could she not know that Carmilla is the most amazing thing that has happened to her? How could she not know that the time she spent being in love with Carmilla were the best months of her life?

"No. I'd do it all over again." Laura answers. Her eyes are awake and alert again now. "Even the most heartbreaking parts of loving you."

The words startle both of them.

Because of how true they are.

No uncertainty in her voice.

Carmilla's dark eyes are soft now. Looking right into Laura's stare.

And suddenly there is something new in the air. A tension. A challenge, being thrown right into the face of fate. But this is still welcome by the two women. Passing through Laura's mind and heart; reopening the old wound in her chest.

But this time it's not bleeding. It's healing.

"Let's do it again." Carmilla says.

Laura kisses her then.

And only a small part of her thinks she is jumping into a silly situation without thinking through it.

But she can't help herself.

Not when Carmilla keeps kissing her like this. Hard and slow.

Not when their bodies still fit together. Not when her heart beats so fast against her ribs. But in the right rhythm. She didn't even know it had stopped beating this way so many years ago.

And not when Carmilla's words are whispered with so much love into Laura's ears.

"I came back for you… I'll always find a way to come back to you."

* * *

 **A/N:** Title from the song Wherever You Will Go because I listened to Charlene Soraia's cover over and over again while I wrote this story.


End file.
